the joy of the Lord is my strength…

Did I promise a story? Ohhhh yeah… Sorry, I’m a busy woman, okay?!  I *had* to organize and label all my medicine pockets in the shoe organizer yesterday (see beautiful photos below – I *heart* organization!), which led to reorganizing/cleaning the pantry, etc.  Not to mention the grocery shopping, laundry, raising children, and all that jazz… Okay, so I probably had time to blog, but when I was on the computer, I was watching the latest episode of Lost and facebooking.  But never fear… the story is coming now!!

(did I mention that I love organization?!)

So, as you know, or maybe you don’t know – whether you know or not isn’t really relevant because I’m about to review – I have been sick lately… in mid-January, I (accidentally) ate some food that disagreed with me, like three times in a week, and that always  makes me really ill, then I took a trip to Arkansas with Marci and Josh to see our Grandma one last time (she ended up passing away before we got there, but it was good to see family even though we didn’t get to say goodbye to her in person).  I came home from that trip and spent two weeks with two types of the flu.  Other family members suffered as well, but it seemed like I fared worse than anyone else. Well, then I was in recovery, just starting to get a little energy back, and I ended up getting mastitis (an infection in the breast).  I was knocked for a loop with that one – fever, nausea, weakness, pain – and had to get on antibiotics, which I am still taking.

Well, Andrew and I were sitting around talking, somewhere between the flu and the mastitis, about how God is working in our lives and how we just want to be used by Him and we were ready for whatever He has for us. (Run-on sentences for $500, Alex!)  We talked about how the Christian walk is a slow, neverending process, about how we never get to a point where we have to stop asking for help, casting our cares on Him, etcetera, and I was saying how I thought it was because that way we wouldn’t get too egotistical and would always remember that we *need* to daily rely on Him for our needs – that it’s not of our own strength that we accomplish anything because without Him we are nothing. 

(This is very summarized, but you – hopefully – get the gist. I’m not always the best at explanations, however, I’m great at rabbit trails!)

Well, we were in the middle of this conversation and both of us had been wondering where it was God was leading us – great things were ahead, we were sure! Then another wave of nausea hit me, and I was like “man, I just can’t shake this flu!” So, I went to the bathroom (you know what’s coming, don’t you? Well, you think you do, but keep reading…)…

I remembered I had an extra pregnancy test under the sink because the one I took telling us I was pregnant with Paige was a two-packer. I am still breastfeeding and haven’t started my womanly cycles yet, not to mention we’ve been pretty careful, but the nausea had been crazy lately, and I had been SO hungry it was ridiculous! So I told Andy, I’m going to take this test, and he basically thought it was silly and a waste (but really, what did I need it for – it’s not like we were trying! Or that we ever plan on trying again!).  I took the test…

I sat it on the counter and immediately blue stripes started appearing.  I kind of stared blankly at it and then told Andy that I don’t have the box anymore and had no idea how to read it (different brands are different and I didn’t retain pregnancy-test-reading knowledge in my brain, apparently). I went downstairs and got online and Andy was wrestling with Jarvis in the same room.  Jarvis looked over just as I got a look of panic on my face, closed the laptop (so the kids wouldn’t see what I was looking at), and went dashing upstairs to see if the test said what the laptop said (Jarvis told me later he knew something was up then).  Sure enough… the test was positive.  We checked and doublechecked, I looked at several websites showing photos of what it was supposed to look like.  Pregnant.

I think in the past, I might have absolutely panicked, cried, been upset, who knows.  I mean – my last pregnancy was awful, the midwife had to hold  my cervix out of the way because it was coming out before Paige, and wow – (we thought) we were so done anyway.  But in light of the conversation we had *just* had, all we could do was laugh. We laughed and laughed and laughed.  We laughed so much over the next few days that we said “if it’s a boy, we should name him Isaac!”

There’s more, but you knew that, didn’t you? Keep reading…

Well, for our military insurance, we have to see a regular doctor to get referred to an ob/gyn (a whole other topic), and then I got the mastitis, so I went to the doctor and had them do a confirmation pregnancy test while I was there.  It had been exactly a week since the positive home pregnancy test.  And…

The urine test was negative.  So they ordered a blood test.  After all, people don’t often get false positives, and I have never had a false test at all.  And I was having symptoms!

I waited a day and a half for the results, and they called me telling me that I wasn’t pregnant after all! And I was actually a little sad.  A little relieved, but yeah, a little sad too.  And, really, all my symptoms could be blamed on other things – the nausea on the flu and the mastitis, the hunger on Paige breastfeeding more often because she had been sick, and so on.

But I wasn’t worried.  I wasn’t worried at all.  Which is a big deal.  As far as we knew, God had blessed us with another child.  He didn’t want me living in a spirit of fear, He just wanted me to rely on Him – in *all* things! Even when I thought my body couldn’t handle another pregnancy, even when I was tempted to be scared about having kids so close in age and thought I’d have to stop breastfeeding Paige before either of us was ready, even when an unplanned pregnancy shocked us to silly laughter,  I said, “well, tomorrow I have parent/teacher conferences – I’ll focus on that.” I was determined to just take it one day at a time and give each day to God and praise Him for another baby and another day.

We still don’t know exactly what God holds in store for our future, and while we are still ready and willing to serve Him the way He wants us to serve Him, we’re sure of this – God wants us to raise the six children He has given us for His Glory and to raise them up knowing how to have a personal relationship with Him.  So that is our focus – our children’s hearts.  I have lots of ideas and opinions on the proper way to raise children, and maybe once my kids are grown, *if* they turn out okay, then I’ll write a book – lol – but for now, I’m just focused on daily (trying) to show my children by example what it is to have love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, and faithfulness. I often fail, but I just pick myself up and start again the next morning.

And that is my not-so-funny, but kind-of-funny, story.  Sorry to make you wait.

(photo of our very blessed family by Ali McLaughlin)